5 Tips: Learn To Love Yourself

Five Tips: Learn How To Love Yourself

We always hear that we need to practice self love, and self care. Rarely does anyone tell us how to actually love yourself, we just hear everyone preaching about it.

Immediately I knew work needed to be done! We need to do better, we need to help each other foster a nurturing relationship with our own self. It takes a village.

Number One: Know Yourself

One of the hardest things to do is love ourselves when we have no idea who we are. Once we can uncover our truth and who we are. We can stand in our power!

One way you can help uncover yourself is THROUGH JOURNALING.

TRY THIS, journaling works!

  • Write 5 things you love about yourself
  • Write 5 things you want to work on about yourself
  • Write down 5 major goals
  • Write down 5 random facts about yourself

Once your journal these things, take time to really reflect on your answers! Remember, these should be individual things about YOU. Not your circumstance, but YOU as a person. Really tap into who you are.

Number Two: Understand Your Beliefs

Honesty is the best policy when discovering who we are, we must be honest with ourselves to escape the ashes and be a Phoenix rising.

To understand yourself, you must understand your Core Values. Your values are things that you, as a person stand for. A lot of the time, the reason we are not in sync with ourselves is because we are not living a life within the limits of our core values.

Some examples of Core Values are: Integrity, Accountability, Diligence, Discipline… There are many more core values, too. If you need help identifying yours, feel free to use Google.

TRY THIS, journaling works!

  • What are your three greatest values?
  • What are three biggest challenges in your life and how you overcame them? Were your values present?
  • What do you usually get complimented on?
  • What do you love doing?

Number Three: Understand Your Limits

Besides our Core Values, we also have underlying limiting belief which are harder to identify. Limiting Beliefs are often fear based. Limiting Beliefs work way down in our psyche, they are so tiny but cause huge issues in our life and are often the underlying issue in challenges we face.

Some examples of Limiting Beliefs are: Lack of motivation, chronic procrastination, lack of resources, Lack of time (too many responsibilities) and you have no idea who you really are.

TRY THIS, journaling works!

  • If you can, identify your limiting beliefs.
  • What is your greatest fear?
  • Has there been a traumatic event you carry with you? (Example, forgetting lines- now you have stage fright)

Number Four: Create Goals

We know what is stopping us, right? It is fear! Now that we know that, we can push that fear aside and really step into who we are. How do we start doing this? Take that list from module one, your goal list! Now we create goals based off that. Do not worry, I will help hold you accountable for your goals, but first we must break down goal making, otherwise we will have our head in the clouds! We do this using a system called: TGROW.

T- Topic: What is it?

G- Goal: What is the specific goal? This is where you break down the nitty gritty.

R- Reality: This is the reality of the goal.

O- Options: This is about your options surrounding the goal.

W- Will do or When: This is when you will do the goal.


An example: I want to clean my house.

T- Topic: Cleaning my house

G- Goal: My goal is to make sure I have my whole house cleaned.

R- Reality: I am a stay at home mom, who has 2 businesses and REALLY hates cleaning. Reality is, I would push this off and procrastinate.

O- Options: I would really like to still stick to my goal, and I know how I procrastinate so, I will start with one room- the bathroom. This room is a pressing room in my house (I live with three boys)!

W- When: I will do this tomorrow after I have my morning coffee and complete my affirmations.


See, I took a larger goal and pressed it down into an attainable goal. The reason we often DO not complete goals is because we break things off in chunks too large, when in reality, we need to remember life gets in the way. Give yourself some love and make sure you are making your goals easy enough that you will not stress yourself out doing so.

TRY THIS, journaling works!

  • For every goal on your module one page, make a TGROW chart, turn it into a more attainable goal.
  • If the goal is already attainable, complete the TGROW chart making it into a plan of action!

Number Five: Find Your Happy

For so many years, we were ground down by social normality’s and things we have been taught while growing, we forgot sometimes we must swim away from the shallow end, into the deep end to find our happy (yes, this is basically kind of like the song ‘Shallow’ by Lady Gaga). I really like this song, because they are singing about digging deeper, swimming deeper- taking yourself further.

We are unsure about where we are because we may be rooted in a spot where we can no longer grow. Can you grow here? Are you just comfortable? Nothing great and amazing every comes from a place of comfortability. Do not mistake comfortability with stability. These are two totally opposite things!

So, let’s dig deep.

Are you happy?

That is the first question. If you answered, “yes” that is fantastic! You found your happy… if you are unsure or you said “no”… you need to dig a little deeper.

What is going to make you happy? Is it a new job? Is it following your dreams? Is it falling in love? Is it writing a book? Is it buying a puppy? Is it adopting?

TRY THIS, journaling works!

  • Make a list of 5 things that currently make you happy
  • Make a list of 5 things you WANT that will make you happy

DIG DEEP! What is your happy! I want deep and raw emotion, if you open up and admit your truth to yourself, you can discover things and unlock things deep within you would have never known otherwise!

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