A note to a much younger Stephanie (and anyone else who feels this!)
It has been on my heart for a while to write something difficult to put in to words, sometimes difficult to speak about. Since I am closer to another chapter of my life, it is much easier to talk about. This may resonate with you, or it may not… But here we go!
Dear Younger Me,
There is always going to be times you wish you said something differently, or more eloquently, but as long as you spoke with kindness instead of based off emotion you are fine. Not everyone is going to understand your intentions, as a matter of fact, some people don’t WANT to understand. Your thoughts and feelings do not need explanation. Unless you are wrong, you do not ever owe anybody your truth.
Some people may not like you. As a matter of fact, there may be times where people do not like you more than the ones who do. But having a few dollars is always better than having many pennies. Quality is more important than your quantity. Pick people who are more intent on understanding you than not understanding you.
If people do not like you, you do not have to engage them and make them like you. IT IS SO important to just be a good person, but it is not your job to change people’s views. As long as you act with kindness, that is all that matters. Not everything needs to be a battle, sometimes silence is better than fighting.
You CAN NOT fix everyone. There is going to be a day when someone walks into your life and he or she needs someone to fix them, this is not your job. You are not their therapist. People have to WANT to change, not everybody wants to fix themselves. The only thing you can do is work through your own stuff- and everybody carries their own baggage. The world is tough.
Learn that boundaries are okay, this does not make you unreachable- but it makes you unbreakable. Once you set your boundaries and stick to them, people will respect you more and you will respect yourself, too.
Sometimes doors are closed for a reason. Sometimes there are closed because it is NOT meant for you, do not try and hit that door until it opens. What is behind it is not always in your best interest. Find another door, sometimes you’re missing out on your great door because you’re so intent on the locked one.
Communication is key. We all want to be heard, but we all NEED to listen. If the world listened a little bit better, we would understand a little better. This is HARD, but you need to find a healthier balance between listening (and actually hearing others) and having yourself be heard.
Which brings me to, the grass is not always greener on the other side. Just because you think someone has a better life than yours, or they’re prettier than you… You do not know what they suffer. The grass is greener where you water it, water your own damn grass!
LEARN how to love yourself. THIS IS SO IMPORTANT. I wish I could have loved and respected myself awhile ago- once you learn this, you can master the world. You can be more at peace.
If you, too, have somethings you would like to add to this list- feel free to send us an email or write us on Facebook. Sometimes writing things is so therapeutic.